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Surely I Have Not the Only Tired Ass!

American Government Special Collections Reference Desk

Stock Car Racing Topics:  NASCAR

Surely I Have Not the Only Tired Ass!

Jeremy T. Sellers
Jerm's Joint
November 6, 2007

When I heard that NASCAR is considering slowing down the Nationwide and Craftsman vehicles for the '08 season I became as frustrated as any veteran fan probably was when they instituted use of the restrictor plate in the cup series. However, when I heard WHY they were going to have to slow the lower two series it made my blood boil and just want to kick everyone in NASCAR's racing and devlopment square in the teeth starting with Brian France and Mike Helton. Stop me if you've already heard this one, okay? What do you get when you cross the Car of Tomorrow in the Cup series without making vehicular modifications in the Nationwide and Truck series? The non-premier series' rides will actually be FASTER than the cup cars!

Holy Shit Batman! Do you mean to tell me that will the oodles of dollars NASCAR is paying its engineeers in the R & D center that all of the university degrees amongst the brainiacs wearing their khaki pants and NASCAR Polo shirts that this NEVER came up during a coffee break? Come on, I only have an associate of applied science in emergency medical services technology and even I could grip the fact that a "boxier" type vehicle isn't going to cut air as well as the sleek rides of the Nationwide Series or Craftsman Truck series if similar modifications weren't made at those levels, too! So now, let's penalize not only the drivers in those divisions, but the fans that follow them because somewhere in NASCAR, a bunch of overpaid beer bellies were off fucking chickens behind the hen house! If NASCAR sticks any more monkey peckers in their ears, we won't have a motorsport ladies and gentlemen. Instead, we will have the biggest circus in the world with 43 billboards each driving around on four wheels! Then again, at least at the cup level, the cars will be going slow enough that we'll be able to read them!

I missed my calling, I should have been an engineer!

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